Can Anxiety Ruin Friendships?

People who have social anxiety (SAD) may find it difficult to interact with others. They may become overwhelmed with feelings of anxiety when they are in crowds or around people they do not know. But how does SAD affect interpersonal relationships, and in particular friendships? Thomas L. Rodebaugh of Washington University in Saint Louis, Missouri was curious to see how the constraints of anxiety spill over into personal relationships. Warmth, reciprocity, and genuine interest in another are at the core of all close friendships. If these elements are impaired they could significantly damage the relationship.

Rodebaugh led a study that involved 27 participants with generalized SAD and 23 with no history of anxiety. The participants were presented with a simulated social dilemma that required they make decisions and interact with a hypothetical friend. The results revealed that the SAD participants were less giving and less willing to participate in the task than the non-SAD participants. The lower level of giving resulted in increases in coldness as well. This result provides a clue as to why SAD may erode even close friendships.

If people are unable to convey warmth and return feelings of genuine interest to others, those around them, even close friends, may perceive that behavior as distant, callous, or uncaring. “Potential or current friends may interpret lower warmth as indicating coldness or lack of interest, both of which may reduce the likelihood that they will continue such interactions,” said Rodebaugh. This explains the pathway through which anxiety can erode friendships. Rodebaugh believes that people with SAD do not intend to alienate their friends but rather are unable to convey closeness because of their heightened anxiety. Most approaches aimed at reducing anxiety do not address interpersonal interactions. Rodebaugh believes that efforts designed to teach people with SAD how to display warmth and caring may serve to strengthen those relationships that are most important to them.

Reference:
Rodebaugh, T. L., Shumaker, E. A., Levinson, C. A., Fernandez, K. C., Langer, J. K., Lim, M. H., and Yarkoni, T. (2012). Interpersonal constraint conferred by generalized social anxiety disorder is evident on a behavioral economics task. Journal of Abnormal Psychology. Advance online publication. doi: 10.1037/a0030975

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  • Deva J

    January 31st, 2013 at 8:29 AM

    Oh, man if you want to increase your anxiety and alienate a lot of people just spend some time on social media. I was so hooked on it b/c of my anxiety. It was so easy to be friends w/ people online rather than face to face. But then, b/c of my anxiety, I started to get insecure with my friends and got real jealous of closeness they had with other peopel. I had to quit looking at that stuff. It may be harder in person. But it’s better for me i think.

  • Farrah

    January 31st, 2013 at 8:32 AM

    It is definitely so easy to get all wrapped up in your own thoughts, insecurities, and anxieties when it comes to friendships. You can put yourself out there and fight through the anxiety. But, then eventually, you get tired of fighting and just crawl back into yourself. When that happens, the friendships you were just starting to form are damaged and people don’t want to invest emotionally in you anymore. It is kind of heart breaking.

  • Cairin

    January 31st, 2013 at 8:36 AM

    For some reason, the advice offered in this article reminds me of the new Matthew Perry sit-com called “Go On.” It’s about a group therapy centered around helping people with loss. But, it also addresses anxiety (of course). The characters’ interpersonal interactions are definitely affected by their anxieties! Of course, this is a comedy and it’s easy to enjoy these anxiety laden interactions, but it is true that people who struggle with anxiety in real life do have a tough go of it. My heart goes out to them!

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