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Self-Esteem Means Esteem for Others, Too
You may have heard it said that you can’t truly love another person if you don’t love yourself. I wholeheartedly believe this to be true, and I think it speaks to the “mirror-type” ... Read More
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The Truth About ‘Lesbian Bed Death’: It’s Complicated
In 1982, sociologists Pepper Schwartz and Philip Blumstein published American Couples: Money, Work, Sex, the first major study of its kind to compare gay male, lesbian, and heterosexual ... Read More
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Three Reasons to Leave: Abuse, Addiction, and Affairs
As a clinical psychologist and certified addictions counselor, I see husbands, wives, and partners in individual or couples therapy on a daily basis grappling with the decision to leave ... Read More
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How to Turn Self-Hatred into Self-Compassion
“I’m such a loser.” “I can’t do anything right.” “I’m ugly.” Too often, people brutally judge and attack themselves. If everyone treated others as poorly as they treat ... Read More
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Selfishness, Guilt, and Separation: When Parents Take Precedence
“You’re so selfish!” I hear this phrase too frequently when working with people who have trouble with separation and individuation. When children hear from their parents that they ... Read More
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When You’re a Minority in a Majority World
I was getting my morning cup of coffee, and while waiting to pay I saw others hand their money to the clerk and leave. When I attempted to do the same, another clerk rudely stated to me ... Read More
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Anger in Relationships: Owning Yours, Softening Your Partner’s
is not a sign that your relationship is doomed to fail. Anger is an emotion that we all experience, and it signifies that something has to be done. Anger makes you aware that there is ... Read More
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Fetishes and the DSM: When Is a Kink a Mental Health Issue?
is inextricably linked to cultural norms, and the latest version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders—psychiatry’s diagnostic bible—makes this readily ... Read More
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Relationship Fairness: What a 50/50 Balance Means
In this day and age, people want equal relationships. We want to be treated fairly and share the responsibilities of our relationships. But an equitable, 50/50 relationship does not mean ... Read More
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Women and Virginity: Preparing for the First Time
Most of my blogs over the years have been written for people who are already sexually active and have experience with pivi (penis-in-vagina intercourse). Today I’m going to address young ... Read More
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Singing the Menopause Blues
Does menopause or a hysterectomy quash or quicken your sex life? This question applies not only to those of us who might face these, but also to the romantic partners who love and live ... Read More
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Is ‘Friending’ Your Ex on Facebook a Good Idea?
An old high school classmate posed the question on his Facebook feed a few days ago: “Should we friend our exes on Facebook or is it equivalent to cheating?” Since couples therapy is ... Read More
