Help! Every Sound I Hear Makes Me Anxious and Irritable

January 8, 2016

I cannot stand hearing just about anything. Whispering, chewing, breathing, sniffling, slurping, humming—all of these make me irritated, anxious, and can send me straight over the edge. My best friend has a baby-talk voice that is pretty much guaranteed to make me angry immediately. There are times when I'm extremely stressed that people talking normally makes me mad. I know logically this kind of stuff should be mildly annoying, but emotionally I can't handle it. I've cried just from listening to my dad eat soup or listening to my mom hum along to the radio as she cleans the kitchen. None of them bother me too much when I'm engaged—I can eat just fine around other people, but as soon as I'm finished, I have to bite my tongue and try to keep calm as my family finishes their meals. Occasionally I have to excuse myself entirely because I'm past my limit. Usually putting headphones on and drowning it all out is my solution, but several of my classes this year do not allow headphones at all since they're lectures and some of my labs don't allow them either. Sitting next to someone in lecture for three hours who is chewing gum is a nightmare scenario that happens regularly. I feel like such a b*tch if I ask them to spit it out, but if I don't I'm so agitated by it that I can't pay attention to what my professor is saying. Sometimes moving seats is an option and I'll take it, but sometimes it's not. I need a new solution. My parents think I'm just fussy and I need to get over it, but it's been going on for years and shutting out everything is no way to function in the adult world. I'm growing up, and I'd like to grow out of this. How do I do it? —Sounding Off

I find myself filled with compassion for you. It sounds like so many of the common, everyday sounds of life are extraordinarily uncomfortable for you. I imagine it makes engaging with the world around you nearly impossible. It must feel very limiting for you. I hope that you can find this compassion for yourself, too.

Find a Therapist

While I certainly cannot make a diagnosis from your brief note (nor is this my expertise), it sounds like you could be describing a condition called misophonia—a sound sensitivity disorder. It is not currently listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) or International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems (ICD-10), but it has recently been getting attention in the mainstream media and has therefore gained some exposure. There is a website, www.misophonia.com, that has news and information about the condition plus a support forum where you can connect with others.

Whether you are dealing with misophonia or not, I would recommend that you consider partnering with a therapist for support.

Whether you are dealing with misophonia or not, I would recommend that you consider partnering with a therapist for support. It certainly sounds like this is causing you considerable stress and anxiety. You mention that the sound of your best friend’s voice immediately angers you and that your parents think you are “fussy” and “need to get over it.” It sounds like your sensitivity to sound is also having a significant impact on your relationships. Working with a therapist will enable you to explore all of the ways you are impacted by this sensitivity to sound, and to develop some strategies for coping with them.

Whatever steps you take to address this, I hope you do seek out help. You mention sometimes feeling like a “b*tch” and wanting to “grow out of this.” These sentiments suggest you feel your sensitivity is a character flaw rather than acknowledging that you might well be dealing with a condition (misophonia). Regardless of the cause, you are struggling. Being kind and compassionate with yourself will get you much further than being punitive.

Best wishes,

Sarah

The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org.