How Do I Deal with Younger, Competitive People at Work?

September 18, 2015

Hi. I am seeking some advice in regard to strong personality types in the workplace. New staff have recently joined our organization, and a majority of them have strong personalities. By this, I mean they are overbearing, they have a sense of entitlement, have a strong sense of self-belief, are seemingly self-confident, zealous in their approach to their work, and vocal. They are competent individuals. The "softer" personality types, myself included, are finding the strong personalities challenging to deal with in a work setting, due in part to their overbearing and competitive nature. My workplace style is noncompetitive, but rather cooperative. I am gregarious and genuinely care about people, and some of these new colleagues seem to demand attention and are seemingly self-serving. Their age range is roughly 25 to 40, and we are all equal in rank, perform the same tasks, work in a team of 12, and work in a cultural/tourism environment. Most of the "softer" personalities are over 40. Any tips you can provide on how I can best deal with this matter would be very much appreciated. —All Worked Up

You describe yourself as cooperative, gregarious, and caring. These are the strengths I hope you will use to help yourself and your colleagues—the old ones and the new ones—so you can work together to develop a new work family system.

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It is very difficult when a few new people join a workplace at about the same time, especially as they may seem to have more in common with one another than with the longer-term employees. You write that their age range is roughly 25 to 40 and that they are younger than you and your “softer” friends. I’m guessing there is a generation gap, and that different styles and ways of being are in conflict. If so, it might help to talk things out together, perhaps with a professional mediator if things get too hot.

Perhaps those people who have been working at your office longer may feel that their status is threatened. This is not an uncommon response to change in the workplace. The task for each and all of you is to find common ground so you can work together and get along.

You describe the new people as strong personalities with a “sense of entitlement” and a zealous approach; overbearing but also competent, equally competent to you and your friends. Is there parity in your compensation and benefits? I am curious as to all the reasons they seem so “other.”

You have a lot to offer, and can use your personality, experience, and wisdom to nurture the new arrivals and help create a warmer work space.

I wonder, too, if the new people have new ideas, new approaches, and new ways of doing things that may seem to challenge the more established procedures. This can be annoying and shake things and people up, but you can all also benefit from their “newness” by seeing things from a different perspective, which might be an asset. If the new crowd has new ideas, it would benefit everyone to give those ideas a forum where they can be explored and perhaps even worked out.

So my advice is to take some deep breaths and take a step back. You have a lot to offer, and can use your personality, experience, and wisdom to nurture the new arrivals and help create a warmer work space.

You’re describing an “us vs. them” situation, which never works. I’m hoping that your “softer” personality may be just the thing that helps people work together and blend the lines between the “old” and the new.

Best wishes,

Lynn

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