Things Are Good, Yet I Can’t Seem to Relax. What’s Wrong?
Dear Restless,
Experiencing such discomfort when there is seemingly no reason for the discomfort can be confusing, and even a little scary. You may be comforted to know that it is also quite common. We all have vague feelings of unrest at times, and they often pass just as quickly and mysteriously as they arrived. However, it sounds like this is something that you have been struggling with for a while now, and perhaps it is even intensifying. When these feelings persist, I believe it is a cue that it is time to enlist some support in sorting things out. Partnering with a therapist can provide the supportive relationship and the dedicated time and space to explore this.
Over the years, I’ve had many people come in for therapy with much the same scenario you presented—committed relationship, good job, and stable finances, but unhappy, perpetually anxious, or, as you say, unable to relax. It typically doesn’t take too much probing before we are able to identify one or more areas in someone’s life where there is dissatisfaction. Thoroughly exploring these areas creates an opportunity to develop insight into the source of the unrest. Once there is a deeper understanding of what is actually happening, concrete steps can be taken to address it. Sometimes the solution is less concrete, however. For some, the dilemma is more existential in nature—they are seeking answers to questions about the meaning and purpose of life. In these cases, therapy provides an opportunity to explore these questions while providing the support that may be needed when no definitive answers materialize.
Though I can’t be sure what exactly is causing your unrest, I sense that you have reached a level of frustration that is pushing you to address it. You took the brave step of writing in with your question. I encourage you to continue taking brave steps and find a therapist who can help you sort through what you are experiencing. It might be scary and even painful, but in the end, you just might find yourself able to relax.
Sincerely,
Sarah
Sarah Noel
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Richa
May 10th, 2013 at 12:33 PMWhen you are not able to relax, it means you are emotionally frustrated… Also, you might not be ready for some crucial work!!
Thanks for the post… These things tell us what we are lacking when everything is just fine..
Thanks for sharing the post :)
racine
May 10th, 2013 at 6:12 PMSounds like there is something that is eating away at you on the inside that you must not be ready to face yet. That’s okay but I don’t think that you should hide this from your wife any longer. What if she comes to believe that she is the one causing you this stress and it starts to build a real wedge between the two of you? My advice is that if this marriage is important and feels like it is worth saving then I say that the time is now that you better be getting to a marriage counselor and maybe to someone for some individual therapy as well.
beth
May 10th, 2013 at 11:31 PMhad this happen to me before.try changing things around.pick up a hobby,do what makes you hobby,maybe change your job and home.try moving things around and see what helps you.all the best!
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