Excessive Pain, Often Suicidal Type

This article contains detailed information and accounts of suicidal ideation & behavior. If you or someone you know may be considering suicide, get help now.

To continue to discuss the very different types of experience people have with depression, this is one that most people don’t experience, but is important to address, since some do. Suicide is not in this case a tool to get people to do or feel what the suicidal person wants; it’s simply the ultimate way to make unrelenting emotional pain stop.

I believe people’s experience of the emotional pain of life varies tremendously. Some of this is due to genetically influenced brain chemistry and resilience, but much of it is due to how much trauma and emotional hurt, loss, injustice, abuse, and other painful experiences people have experienced. We have beta endorphins in our brains to numb pain and create euphoria, so we can handle both physical and emotional pain. But people are born with varying amounts and life events can influence our supply as well. For people with very little of this chemical, life is much more painful.

When people are in intense unrelenting physical or emotional pain, they can want to die to end the pain. For most people, unbearable pain is temporary and thoughts of suicide due to pain never get a chance to settle in and become truly serious. Similarly, most people who seriously consider suicide, or even attempt it eventually find themselves glad they continued to live. This is why professionals do everything possible to prevent people from trying to kill themselves.

In fact very few people are depressed or in other emotional or physical pain for years and years despite all treatment available. Most depression either passes with time, or is treatable in psychotherapy and sometimes medication. But occasionally people go decades in unrelenting emotional pain despite every possible type of intervention. I knew of a woman who had this experience and eventually decided she had had enough. She wrote to or talked to all her loved ones and planned everything very carefully, with plenty of time to say goodbye—as she might have done, knowing she had a terminal illness. In fact she did have a terminal illness, because occasionally depression can be that devastating.  Everyone in her life had watched her struggle for many, many years, and understood her need to end the pain. She did it as responsibly as she could, and I don’t think it’s fair for anyone to judge people like this woman, based on their own experience of pain, because hers was clearly way beyond what most of us ever experience.

Again, this is very rare, and most people have other options, hope, and an underlying strong will to live. For most people, that will to live may waver temporarily and is usually replaced by a fear of either dying, killing themselves, or being dead, or by guilt about leaving behind people who love them and/or depend on them, and eventually the will to live comes back. If you have children, please know that children never recover from their parents’ suicide and are at great risk for suicide and depression themselves. If you think everyone would be better off without you, know that most suicidal people believe this, and it is a distortion. If you wonder, ask the adults around you if it’s true that they would be better off if you killed yourself.

© Copyright 2011 by Cynthia W. Lubow, MS, MFT. All Rights Reserved. Permission to publish granted to GoodTherapy.org.

The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below.

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  • Fraser

    May 10th, 2011 at 4:15 AM

    There are problems,yes. But no problem is big enough to put your life at stake. Everybody’s struggling and doing whatever they are to be able to survive, to succeed. To think that your own pains are too big and give it all up would not be right at all.

  • Omni

    November 9th, 2016 at 4:19 AM

    When u are mentaly healthy, yeah there is no problem too big. People who say that you have no right to have suicidal feelings or toughts had never obviously felt suicidal or felt even 20% of emotional pain that people WITH suicidal ideations feel. Mental Illness (in mine situation double depression) amplifies pain for 300%. I have around 120 IQ (was taking test from mensa International but its not relevant, even with average IQ, college with medium effort should be no big problem) yet I cant pass 2 courses in my college in whole year. Second, I meet a girl few months ago and fall out of this world in love with her just for her to say that she is sorry and that I shouldnt had this much hope for us in future. Now if I would be mentally healthy, probably I would let her go and forgot about all this ages ago, yet as much as its sound made up I am constantly, every few days , having dreams about her (including one today)… I have no support, tried 6 antidepressants and 3 antipsychotic for a little boost for antidepressants but never achived remission just reduction of symptoms just enough so that I can eat and do at least some work ( and I stopped seeing my doctor, there is just no point)… If u dont have any clue on what are u talking about then is better to not say anything at all…

  • Debby

    October 10th, 2019 at 4:26 PM

    Contrary to most beliefs, there are some situations where, not as a way out, but to put and end to pain. In some cases, a combination of physical and emotional pain are unbearable for some. I’ll give an example: – A man lost his wife (barely mid-thirties) to cancer, couldn’t take care of himself afterwards, and his children were taken away by Child services. His (ex) mother-in-law turned his children against him and filed bogus criminal charges. Got arrested a few hours after learning wife’s death, and missed her funeral the next day due to imprisonment (weekend). He never got over that. He then lost his job, had to file for bankruptcy, lost his house and everything in it (everything he and his wife had worked for, for the last 15 years), lost all family heirlooms, the kids heritage, has nothing but a few pictures as memory for his wife. He then lost his abilities, some of his memory, had to be followed by a therapist, a psychiatrist, a psychologist and was given medication for schizophrenia! Because of the charges, lost his family, his friends….all social life. He was diagnosed with an incurable disease, had 0-3 years tops. Then diagnosed with another disease. He didn’t sleep, was starving (spent 6 months with 0$ revenue), lunch was 3 tablespoons of mayo, had nothing in fridge. Couldn’t concentrate. Even though passing by several times a day, could go days, weeks without showering. He had no more breathe, extreme pains in right arm and stomach. Lost his sight several times over different periods of time, lost balance, back all scratched from falling.Found out he was too poor to file for bankruptcy (!), was unable to pay minimum fee to his trustee. Couldn’t pay his meds….I can understand him wanting to go. As he put it: – You get to a point where all you are doing is killing a dead man! I, personally , would not have been able to deal with all of that, within 7-8 months. I respect his decision. * You are given life, it is yours and only yours, no one but you shall decide what you do with it.*

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