The truth is that different therapists handle their first therapy sessions differently. They may even encourage you to ask them questions about their lives, training, or experiences in the first session.
Waiting: The first moments of your arrival to a therapist’s office may be very similar to waiting for any other kind of health care appointment. You might check in with a receptionist, fill out initial paperwork, and then wait for your therapist to bring you back for your session.
Introductions: You’ll most likely spend the first part of your therapy session getting to know one another. Your relationship with your therapist is just any other—it may work best if you’re able to connect with one another on a personal level initially. You don’t have to leap into your deepest darkest secrets immediately—feel free to talk through your favorite book or the movie you saw last week as a way to get a sense of how the two of you will communicate with one another.
Establishing Needs: Your therapist will need to know why you’re seeking therapy. They may ask what kinds of needs or issues you’d like to address in your treatment together as well as what you’ve done to manage your mental health in the past. They’ll want to talk through what worked and what didn’t to get an understanding of how best to help you.
Asking Questions: As a secondary part of understanding what you need from therapy, your therapist may ask some of the following questions:
More Questions: It can also be helpful to plan on asking questions of your therapist. Before your session, consider thinking over what worries or concerns you may have about treatment and then brainstorm some questions to ask your therapist. For example:
The most important thing to do after your first therapy session is check in with yourself. Ask yourself how you felt your first session went, and see how you would feel about going to another one with this therapist. Remember: there’s no such thing as a one-session cure, so you may feel a little better or relieved, but your symptoms won’t immediately disappear.
Consider how you felt about your therapist specifically. Did you feel comfortable talking with them? Did you feel like the two of you could work together over a long-term time frame? If your therapist tries to give you a diagnosis in the first session or makes you feel uncomfortable for any reason, it might be a good idea to find someone else. Therapy is an incredibly individualized process, so not every therapist is going to be the right fit for you. It’s okay to interview a few before you find the right person.
Additionally, you may have some “homework” from your therapist before your next session. This could be anything from journaling throughout the week to doing a little reading that may help provide context for your next session. Remember: whatever work you do between sessions is about making you feel healthier and happier, not about getting a good grade.
Several therapists explain what goes on in their first sessions with people new to their practices:
Most importantly, in that first session, you will begin making a connection with your therapist. You should feel safe, accepted, respected, and relatively comfortable. Not all therapists are right for every person, so use your first session to assess whether or not the therapist you chose feels like a good match for your personality.
Sometimes people have lots to say and start talking right away, pouring out their thoughts and feelings, and sometimes their fears and tears, too.
Other people find it very hard to speak, so I’ll ask questions about how they decided to come to therapy, why therapy with me and not somebody else, whether they have been in treatment before, and whether there is something in particular troubling
them. Each statement the person in therapy makes leads to many other questions.
I say what my expectations are: that people come on time, that they pay on time, that they say what is on their minds—even if it sounds silly to them. In fact, especially if it sounds silly; those silly ideas are frequently the best things to talk about because they often lead to issues that need to be explored.
Toward the end of the first session I also always thank the person for coming, say that I’ve asked a lot of questions (if indeed I have) and invite the person in therapy to ask me questions. Sometimes people feel it’s not polite, and they are afraid. So, then I say not to worry about courtesy, that I’ll probably feel comfortable answering, but that if for some reason I don’t want to answer something I’ll say so and we’ll move on.
Then we discuss whether we’d like to meet again and, if so, when. I’ll say how often I think we should meet, and we’ll talk about that too.
Taking the first step on a new path to improved mental health can be scary. Getting through the first appointment may be one of the hardest parts of starting therapy. However, by taking everything one step at a time and communicating openly about your goals with your therapist, you can set yourself up for the best possible experience.
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The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org.