How to Support a Loved One with Mental Health Challenges: A Guide for Partners

Loving someone with mental health challenges can be a journey filled with moments of connection, but it also presents unique challenges. As a partner, you can be a source of stability and comfort, but it’s equally important to nurture yourself along the way. Below are practical steps to strengthen both your relationship and your well-being as you support your loved one.  

Learn and Educate Yourself 

Understanding your partner’s mental health condition is crucial in offering genuine support. When you know what they’re going through, you can be more empathetic and less likely to take symptoms personally. 

For example, if your partner has depression, you might read articles, watch videos, or attend a workshop on the condition. You’ll learn that depression isn’t just “feeling sad” but can cause physical exhaustion and lack of motivation. This knowledge will help you to not feel hurt if they decline activities they used to enjoy, such as going out for dinner or socializing. 

 Communicate Openly and Listen 

Creating a safe space for your loved one to express themselves can be one of the most supportive things you can do. Let them share their thoughts and feelings without interrupting or offering unsolicited advice. Sometimes they don’t need a solution; they just need to feel heard. 

For example, if your partner struggles with anxiety and mentions feeling overwhelmed by social events, instead of saying, “You’ll be fine” or “Don’t worry about it,” you could say, “I hear that this is really stressful for you. What do you think might help ease your anxiety in those situations?” This invites them to explore their feelings while knowing you’re there for them.  

Encourage Professional Help 

While your emotional support is invaluable, it’s important to recognize the role of mental health professionals in your partner’s recovery. Gently encourage them to seek therapy or counseling, without being pushy. 

For example, if your partner experiences panic attacks, you could say, “I want to support you in the best way possible, and I wonder if a therapist might have some tools that could really help with the panic attacks. I can help you find one if you’d like.” Offering assistance in finding a therapist can make the process feel less daunting for them.  

Set Healthy Boundaries 

Boundaries are essential in any relationship, but they are especially important when one partner is struggling with mental health challenges. Healthy boundaries ensure that you can offer support without feeling emotionally depleted. 

For example, if your partner tends to lean on you for emotional reassurance during their struggles with anxiety, it’s okay to set boundaries. You might say, “I’m here for you, but I also need some time for myself today. Can we talk for 15 minutes, and then maybe you could journal or use one of the relaxation techniques we’ve discussed?”  

Take Care of Yourself 

Caring for someone with mental health challenges can be exhausting if you don’t take time to recharge. Prioritizing your own self-care isn’t selfish; it’s essential for sustaining your ability to be a supportive partner. 

For example, if you start feeling emotionally drained after several tough days, schedule some time to do something just for yourself. This could be an evening walk, a yoga class, or spending time with friends. You might say to your partner, “I’ve had a tough week and need a little time for myself. I’m going to meet with friends tonight, but I’ll be back and available to talk later if you need.” 

Be Patient 

Mental health recovery can be a long, winding road, and it’s important to remember that progress often comes in waves. There will be good days and bad days. Patience—both with your partner and with yourself—is crucial in maintaining a balanced relationship. 

For example, if your partner has bipolar disorder, they might go through phases of elevated mood (mania) and depressive episodes. In moments of mania, they may appear full of energy, only to feel deeply depressed days later. Instead of getting frustrated by these shifts, remind yourself that these mood changes are part of the condition and not a reflection of your relationship. You might say, “I understand that you’re going through a tough time, and I’m here with you through all of it.” 

Strengthen Your Relationship 

It’s easy to focus on the challenges mental health issues bring, but it’s equally important to nurture the positive aspects of your relationship. Make time for the things that bring you joy and help strengthen your bond. Balance the serious conversations with light-hearted moments.  

For example, if your partner is struggling with depression, plan an activity that doesn’t require much energy but brings joy to both of you—like watching a favorite movie together or taking a quiet walk. You might say, “I know things have been hard, but I’d love to spend some time together watching that show we both love. Let’s make it a cozy night in.” 

Reach Out for Support 

You don’t have to navigate this journey alone. Reaching out to trusted friends, family, or support groups can provide a sense of relief and understanding. Sharing your own feelings can help you feel less isolated and remind you that it’s okay to lean on others.  

For example, if you’re feeling overwhelmed by your partner’s mental health challenges, consider joining a support group for partners of people with mental illness. You might also talk to a close friend, saying, “I love my partner, but it’s been hard lately. I just need someone to talk to about how I’m feeling.” Being honest with those around you about your struggles can bring comfort and perspective. 

 In conclusion, supporting a loved one with mental health challenges is a delicate balance of empathy, patience, and self-care. By educating yourself, communicating openly, and encouraging professional help, you can create a supportive environment where both you and your partner can thrive. Just remember, your well-being is just as important as theirs, and taking care of yourself is one of the best ways to offer sustained support. 

The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below.