Stalking

Stalking is the act of repeatedly following, observing, or initiating contact with a person who has not consented to the behavior. Though some stalkers believe their intentions are innocent, their actions often intimidate victims. Stalking can be a serious crime. The legal ramifications can vary from fines to jail time, depending on the offense.

Why Do People Stalk?

Most victims of stalking are pursued by someone they already know. A quarter of female targets and a third of male targets are stalked by an acquaintance. 3 in 5 female victims experience stalking from a current or former intimate partner.

Stalking is often used to control another person. An abusive partner might plant hidden microphones or GPS software to monitor their partner. Another stalker may send threatening messages to frighten a perceived enemy.

Not all stalkers want to harm or frighten their victims. Obsession or infatuation with another person can also result in stalking. A person with erotomania strongly believes that someone, typically a celebrity, is in love with them. Even when shown evidence to the contrary, the person believes the target loves them and wants to be contacted.

While not all people who stalk are malicious, stalking almost always causes distress for the victim. In the United States:

• Approximately 7.5 million people are victims of stalking each year.
• Around 6% of men and 15% of women will experience stalking at some point in life.
• About half of stalking victims experienced stalking before the age of 25.
• Nearly 30% of stalking victims fear the stalking will never stop.
• 1 in 7 stalking victims move because of the stalking.

Types of Stalking

Stalking can be done in person, over the phone, through mail, and most recently through computers. Online stalking often takes advantage of the anonymity offered by the internet to inspire fear. For example, a person might repeatedly send emails from an anonymous address or post threatening messages to a social networking account. Special considerations need to be made to protect oneself from tracking and harassment.

Stalking behavior generally escalates over time. Stalking might start with small forms of contact like phone calls or surveillance. After a while, stalking may become more persistent. For example, the stalker may appear at the target’s home uninvited. In about 1 out of 5 cases, a stalker will use some type of weapon to threaten the victim with violence.

How Can I Tell If I Am Being Stalked?

One of the most recognizable signs of stalking is if an individual is repeatedly contacting you after have you asked them to stop. If you have caught someone watching or following you without your consent, they may be stalking you. Another red flag is when someone you know has made a threat to stalk you, such as “I’ll keep calling until you talk to me,” or “You can’t keep me away from those events.”

There are non-stalking behaviors that may be similar to these warning signs. However, if someone is persistently trying to contact you or be near you without your consent, especially if you feel threatened by them, it is important to pay attention to your feelings and get help if you need it.

What Do I Do if I Am Being Stalked?

First, if you are in danger or your life is at risk, call 911 or your local emergency law enforcement number as soon as possible. It’s a good idea to have a stalking safety plan with a network of people you trust, who can help you when you need it.

You might consider any or all of the following strategies:

• Keep a phone nearby at all times.
• Develop codes with family members to confirm their identities and report danger more covertly.
• Change the locks on your house.
• Alert people in your neighborhood, office, or school of the threat. Give them information about the stalker and provide a picture for identification.
• Research domestic violence shelters and other emergency housing options in your area.
• Pack a bag of emergency clothes and supplies in case you need to leave quickly.

Experts advise cutting off all contact with the stalker, since even negative attention can encourage further harassment. Maintaining detailed notes may help in the event you need to involve law enforcement. In some cases, a restraining order may be the most effective way of stopping a stalker.

Therapy and Counseling for Victims of Stalking

Stalking can have serious health consequences, both physical and mental. Stalking victims are more likely to experience anxiety, depression, and insomnia. Mental health conditions are especially common for those who have been followed or had property destroyed.

Psychotherapy can help with these concerns. A therapist can help an individual regain some normalcy in their routine after the threat subsides. Therapy can also address any posttraumatic stress (PTSD) that emerges after the experience of being stalked. With help, people can relearn how to live a life without fear.

Current Criminal Stalking Laws

Stalking has only been recognized as a crime over the past few decades. Each state establishes its own laws governing stalking. Federal laws ensure anti-stalking measures are valid across states. For example, a protective order obtained in one state is still valid if a person moves to another state.

A good way to know if behavior is acceptable is to make sure all parties consent to the interaction.

State laws generally say contact must be repeated and unwanted. A person who sends one letter to their ex, for example, would not be considered to be stalking that person. Sending multiple letters, however, may be one type of stalking behavior. Some states also require that the victim feel threatened or afraid. You can check the laws specific to your area via VictimsofCrime.org.

Romanticization of Stalking Behavior in Popular Culture

In September 2017, a man in the United Kingdom vowed to win back his ex-girlfriend by putting a piano in the city center and playing continuously until she returned to him. The pianist reportedly stopped two days later after someone punched him in the head. The stunt surged on social media. It attracted many supporters, but other people called his performance “creepy.” By creating social media campaigns to get his ex’s attention, they said, he not only created public pressure for her to reward him, but also put her in danger by potentially exposing her identity and whereabouts.

Sometimes grand gestures like these are thought of as romantic or endearing. But when that contact is unwanted, it can quickly turn from charming to repulsive. Some people might find persistence attractive. Others may be instantly deterred. A good way to know if behavior is acceptable is to make sure all parties consent to the interaction.

What to Do If Your Behavior Resembles Stalking

It can be hard to care about someone who doesn’t return your interest. It may be difficult to move on after rejection. You might even feel tempted to follow sayings like “persistence pays off” and keep pursuing that person. If you realize, however, that the person you are interested in is not willing to see, hear, or speak with you, despite your repeated efforts, you might be exhibiting stalking behavior.

There are ways of processing the feelings behind your actions. You can work through your pain, anger, or resentment with a therapist’s guidance. A good therapist can help you change your behavior without assigning blame or condemnation.

References:

1. Coker, A. L., Davis, K. E., & Sanderson, M. (2002). Physical and mental health effects of being stalked for men and women. Violence and Victims, 17(4), 429-443. Retrieved from https://search.proquest.com/openview/e25908242e83eef7134a346033609284/1?pq-origsite=gscholar&cbl=45619
2. Kennedy, N. (2002). Erotomania revisited: Clinical course and treatment. Comprehensive Psychiatry, 43(1), 1-6. doi: 10.1053/comp.2002.29856
3. Piano man ends bid to win back girlfriend after ‘being punched in the head.’ (2017, September 12). Metro. Retrieved from http://metro.co.uk/2017/09/12/piano-man-ends-bid-to-win-back-girlfriend-after-being-punched-in-the-head-6920857
4. Stalking fact sheet. (2015). The National Center for Victims of Crime. Retrieved from http://victimsofcrime.org/docs/default-source/src/stalking-fact-sheet-2015_eng.pdf
5. Stalking information. (2017). The National Center for Victims of Crime. Retrieved from http://victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-resource-center/stalking-information
6. Stalking laws. (n.d.). Stalking Resource Center. Retrieved from http://www.victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-resource-center/stalking-laws
7. Stalking safety planning. Stalking Resource Center. Retrieved from http://victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-resource-center/help-for-victims/stalking-safety-planning

Last Updated: 01-18-2018