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The Blameless Burden: Scapegoating in Dysfunctional Families January 30, 2017 . 307 Comments
In biblical lore, Aaron selected a goat on behalf of the entire tribe, cast upon it the sins of all members, and then banished it alone to the wild. The members of the tribe were then at ... Read More
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How Do I Convince a Parent to Go to Therapy? December 30, 2016 . 7 Comments
Dear GoodTherapy.org, My mom is nearing 70. She was widowed four years ago, and ever since then she seems to have given up on life. She barely leaves her house, doesn’t want to socialize ... Read More
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Terrified People Pleasers: Why Can’t I Love and Be Loved? December 21, 2016 . 8 Comments
People pleasing is a way to reduce anxiety and eliminate stress. Some please to assure good feelings that come with positive responses like being approved of, admired, praised, or respected. ... Read More
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Do I Need to Give My Kids an Allowance? December 2, 2016 . 6 Comments
Dear GoodTherapy.org, My oldest child is 7, and many of his friends receive an allowance from their parents for doing chores around the house. I never gave the idea of an allowance much ... Read More
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Taking Back Your Life from a Narcissistic Family Upbringing November 29, 2016 . 48 Comments
People with narcissistic qualities tend to view life in black-and-white: a world of only losers and winners, victims and victimizers. They loathe feeling like losers or victims. In the ... Read More
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Help! My Family Doesn’t Approve of My Relationship November 11, 2016 . 8 Comments
Dear GoodTherapy.org, I’ve been seeing this wonderful girl for over three years now, and my parents still have not warmed up to her. She and I are a perfect fit, very compatible, ... Read More
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Mother-Daughter BFFs: Walking the Fine Line of Enmeshment November 9, 2016 . 18 Comments
Within the past several decades, a shift has been observed in the relationship patterns of many mothers and daughters. Many seem to have abandoned the traditional hierarchy of parent and ... Read More
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Why Do I Repeat My Parents’ Hurtful Behavior with Others? October 17, 2016 . 8 Comments
Maddy: “I hate myself. I’m just like my mother. She always bossed my father around and was so controlling with me and my brother. Now I do the same things with my husband and kids. ... Read More
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My Parents Are Awful Racists! What Can I Do? September 2, 2016 . 9 Comments
Dear GoodTherapy.org, I recently attended a family reunion (full disclosure: this was in the deep south) and was horrified to discover how closed-minded and bigoted my parents have become. ... Read More
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Making Excuses for Parents to Avoid ‘Bad Person’ Feelings August 24, 2016 . 15 Comments
“I feel like such a bad person.” I have heard this sad statement from so many people who come to treatment struggling with terrible feelings about themselves. Typically, these “bad ... Read More
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Am I Horrible for Not Crying at My Father’s Funeral? August 5, 2016 . 9 Comments
Dear GoodTherapy.org, I recently attended my father’s funeral, which was a very large gathering with family, friends, and people in the community. He touched many lives and was well-known ... Read More
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Maternal Narcissism: Trapped in the Role of ‘Good Daughter’ July 28, 2016 . 44 Comments
Wired for connection, baby daughter looks into her mother’s eyes needing to see delight reflected back to her. What if, instead, baby’s gaze is met with emotional emptiness? Lights ... Read More