Trust Issues

Thank you for your letter. This kind of issue comes up frequently with couples, particularly early on in one’s marriage or partnership. It often involves a topic that has potent but conflicting ... Read More

When I was in college, my friend Matt hit an old woman with his car and killed her. Every time he passes the street where she died, he remembers what happened and feels scared and sad. ... Read More

“David, tell Randy you’re sorry.” “Sorry.” The mother takes 7-year-old David to another part of the playground. By the sound of the “saaaaawry,” ... Read More

Thank you so much for writing, and I’m very sorry to hear about your loss. The short version of my answer is: continue counseling, and make sure it’s the right fit. Ideally, we want ... Read More

This is a fantastic question that really strikes at the heart of one of psychotherapy’s cornerstones—confidentiality. You are not at all alone in feeling like you have something ... Read More

Thank you for writing. I am so sorry this happened to you. It frankly makes my blood boil. This breach and exploitation is exactly what therapists are never supposed to do. To me, it’s ... Read More

Once, I invited someone to take my workshop and she replied, “Oh, I don’t need to take your right-use-of-power workshop. I won’t cause any harm because I have good intentions.” ... Read More

Many years ago, I was betrayed by a friend I admired. If I had been asked to forgive her, my immediate answer would have been, “No.” But if someone had asked if I wanted to be free ... Read More

Great question—simply and clearly put—and I enjoy thinking about it. Thank you. I’m afraid my answer is going to be pretty long, though, because the question touches on a variety ... Read More

On more than one occasion, previous clients have asked if we could remain friends during or after our therapy sessions. While I could envision being friends with some of my previous clients ... Read More

Insecurity is one of the trickiest relationship issues because it tends to create a self-perpetuating cycle. Insecure people frequently cling to their partners, which causes their partners ... Read More

We all engage in manipulation from time to time. When your boss asks you what you thought of his or her terrible presentation and you render lavish praise, you’re concealing your ... Read More