What does it mean to be a therapist?

What happens when someone discloses about killing someone in therapy? Has that happened to you yet? Talk about getting out of my comfort zone! As therapists, we hold a sacred career; we are holders of deep dark secrets and keepers of some of the most untold stories in the world. We carry the power to love people through some of the hardest times of their lives and help them through some horrendous shame and pain. 

I truly believe people are good at the core of themselves, but the world really knows how to be cruel to mankind. There is so much pain, fear and hurt in this world caused by other broken and unhealed people and as therapists we get the privilege to be there to help those that are wounded and broken to open up and get free of some of that bondage. I genuinely love my job, even though sometimes it can be heavy and difficult to hold the pain of others at times. 

The Transformative Power of Therapy

Over the years of practicing as a therapist, I have learned that people are not their behaviors and at the core, they are good. I’ve also learned that people are separate from their behaviors and if I can just get clients to see that, then half the battle is over. As children, we embody a beautiful innocence, purity, and joy that is truly contagious. So, believing that depression, anxiety, or fear defines us, or that our past behaviors determine our identity, is not aligned with who we are truly meant to be. I approach therapy this way and always strive to never judge my clients and instead help them to disassociate from the negative behaviors that they hate about themselves so that we can both as a team judge the behaviors and then decide if they are serving them or not. Some behaviors that others may judge as dysfunctional are actually serving a purpose of survival in that person’s life, or at least they use to when they were a child, or perhaps when they were in a bad relationship. However, in most cases, as adults those bad behaviors that we picked up as children to self-protect are now no longer needed and are just being used in our lives to self-sabotage, not realizing that we are all grown up now and have the ability to change those behaviors because we are no longer powerless like we were when we were children. 

Can people be evil?

It’s important to remember that when we see people’s actions that seem reprehensible or unforgivable; to take a step back and ponder why and wonder if those actions are coming from some deep unprocessed pain, unmet need, or trauma. Choosing to see from this perspective of compassion and love doesn’t mean we justify bad behavior, but instead; we can understand it and empathize with how one could use actions that could seem horrendous to an outsider. While killing someone is never right; knowing the deep dark secrets and pain that lead to that point can create a lens to embrace understanding as to why someone could get to that point. Can people be evil? Yes, some people can choose to live in pain and never look for healing and it can lead down to a dark path at time, so understand that I know there is another perspective to what I’m writing about. 

Healing is our responsibility.

In a world with so much evil it can become easy to let ourselves fall into cynicism, criticalness and despair. However, by allowing our love and compassion to come into the parts of a person that’s hidden and living in shame, we empower that person to decide to embrace a higher reality of who they truly are. We can create an environment that allows a person to fight for a greater identity and value system and let go of the old identity that holds those behaviors that are no longer serving them. 

The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below.