Marriage counseling, also known as couples counseling, relationship counseling, or couples therapy, is a specialized form of therapy aimed at helping people in intimacy relationships. It can benefit partners who want to resolve conflicts, improve their bond, or gain a deeper understanding of each other. While the relationships itself is the main focus of marriage counseling, each partner is encouraged to work on self-awareness and self-improvement

How to Find a Marriage Counselor

Finding the right marriage counselor is the first step to getting the support you need — and your search shouldn’t be one more thing to worry about. GoodTherapy offers a vast network of verified marriage counselors who specialize in helping couples better communicate and strengthen their relationships. Every professional in our network has been thoroughly vetted to ensure they meet high standards of training, experience, and compassion. With our easy to navigate online directory, you can search for licensed professionals located near you or explore telehealth options to meet your needs. GoodTherapy’s network makes it simple to find a marriage counselor who aligns with your goals, respects both partners equally, and prioritizes a healthy, balanced approach to relationship therapy.

How to Choose a Marriage Counselor

When choosing a marriage counselor, look for someone who not only has the right credentials but also aligns with both partners' needs and goals for therapy. The best marriage counselors provide a safe, balanced space where each person feels heard and respected, ensuring the therapy process feels collaborative and productive. It’s important to choose a marriage counselor who:

  • Has received the required training to offer couples counseling
  • Is experienced in dealing with the couple’s specific issues
  • Works with the couple to develop a therapy plan
  • Shows compassion to both partners
  • Does not take sides
  • Does not allow one partner to speak for or interrupt the other
  • Maintains control of each session   
  • Is easily accessible
  • Encourages the couple early to express if they are comfortable with the services offered 
  • Charges affordable fees or accepts insurance

What Qualifications to Look for in a Marriage Counselor

For counseling, many couples look for a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). LMFTs have advanced training in couples therapy, state licensure, and are often certified by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) — as opposed to MFTs (Marriage and Family Therapists), who begin work after completing their initial education requirements.

 

Marriage Counseling Approaches and Techniques

Marriage counseling can take various forms based on the therapist’s training and the couple’s needs. Here are some commonly used therapeutic approaches:

  • Imago relationship therapy Imago therapy focuses on understanding and healing unresolved issues from each partner’s past that may affect their relationship. This approach can be particularly helpful for couples looking to improve their emotional connection and empathy.
  • Emotionally focused therapy Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) helps couples identify and shift patterns of interaction that lead to disconnection. By creating a safe emotional environment, this therapy fosters stronger bonds and is especially effective for couples dealing with trust issues or emotional distance.
  • Internal Family Systems nternal Family Systems (IFS) explores each partner’s internal “parts” or subpersonalities, encouraging self-awareness and emotional balance. This approach works well for couples interested in personal growth and reducing conflict in the relationship.
  • Gottman Method iBased on over four decades of research, the Gottman Method provides couples with concrete tools for communication and conflict resolution. It’s particularly effective for couples seeking structured guidance to overcome chronic conflicts.
  • developmental model The developmental model focuses on each partner’s emotional development, helping couples grow individually and together. It is ideal for relationships where both partners are committed to mutual growth and lifelong learning.  
  • Positive psychology Positive psychology emphasizes strengths and positive aspects within the relationship, fostering a mindset of gratitude and happiness. This approach is beneficial for couples wanting to build a more optimistic, constructive relationship.
  • Narrative therapy Narrative therapy helps partners separate their identities from their problems, allowing them to rewrite their relationship “story” in a healthier way. This method is especially effective for couples who feel “stuck” and need a fresh perspective.
  • Explore More Therapy Types

How Does Couples Counseling Work?

The goal of counseling is to help partners understand each other better and develop effective problem-solving skills. The typical process includes an initial assessment, during which the counselor may meet with both partners together or individually. Afterward, they may provide targeted feedback. The couple may set therapeutic goals with the guidance of the therapist and develop a plan for therapy so that each person knows what to expect. In couples therapy, positive results often depend on the couple’s motivation and dedication to the process.

As treatment progresses, each partner will ideally become a better listener and communicator. Partners also often learn to support each other in various new ways. It’s not uncommon for conflict to arise in therapy sessions, but an ethical marriage counselor will remain neutral and avoid taking sides. Some marriage counselors offer supplemental individual sessions to each partner as a standard part of treatment, while others may offer individual sessions upon request.

Marriage counseling frequently involves weekly sessions, though this may vary based on each couple’s needs and progress. The counseling is offered in a variety of settings, including private practices, university counseling centers, and group practices.

Marriage counseling is often short-term, though healing or growing a relationship may take longer. Ultimately, couples therapy will continue for as long as the couple is committed to completing the treatment plan or until they reach resolution.

Who Needs Marriage Counseling

Marriage counseling can benefit couples at any stage of their relationship. Here are some common scenarios where marriage counseling may be helpful:

  • Building intimacy: Couples in healthy relationships may seek counseling to increase intimacy or find new ways to connect with each other emotionally.
  • Considering separation: For couples contemplating separation, counseling can provide a safe space to discuss their future with respect and clarity.
  • Premarital counseling: Engaged couples may use therapy to discuss potential areas of conflict, differences in values, and shared expectations for the future.

Who Should Not Seek Marriage Counseling

While marriage counseling can offer tremendous benefits, some situations are not improved by this approach. For example, in situations involving domestic abuse , sexual abuse , emotional abuse , or financial abuse , individual support from a crisis center or hotline is recommended instead of attempting couples therapy. In many cases, a person’s safety or life may be jeopardized if they remain in a relationship with an abusive partner. No relationship is worth your health and safety.

What to Do if You are in Crisis

When to Seek Marriage Counseling

As all couples experience tension or conflict at some point in their relationship, many are unsure when they should seek counseling. The reality is that couples may seek relationship counseling for many different reasons, including:

Most couples counselors agree it’s best to seek couples counseling as soon as discontent enters the relationship. Therapy need not be delayed until an issue becomes a crisis. In many relationships, couples therapy is not considered until issues persist for an average of six years, and this delay can make it more difficult to repair or resolve concerns.

Does Marriage Counseling Work?

Studies indicate couples therapy can have a marked positive impact on relationships. Research evaluating changes in marital satisfaction after therapy shows approximately 48% of couples reach improvement or full recovery in relationship satisfaction after 5 years. Approximately 38% of couples experienced relationship deterioration, and 14% remained unchanged over the same period.

Couples therapy is most effective when both partners are committed to improving their relationship and sticking to the treatment plan. The approach is much less effective if one partner refuses to participate in treatment or if the relationship is violent or abusive. The effectiveness of couples therapy is also reduced when those in the relationship only expect their partner to change. The more open each member of the relationship is to reflecting on their own perspectives and habits, the more effective couples therapy is likely to be.

The History of Marriage Counseling

Relationship counseling, originally known as marriage counseling and reserved for engaged or married couples, was in its infancy in the United States during the 1930s. Marriage counselors educated people about marriage and family life. However, it was rare for partners to seek relationship counseling together.

Couples therapy was transformed by the emergence of family therapy and the increase in divorce rates throughout the 1960s and 1970s. During this period, couples therapy was typically conducted with both partners present. Present-day couples counseling is heavily influenced by family therapy, a holistic approach designed to treat the family system together with its individual members. The work of family therapy pioneers, including Murray Bowen and Virginia Satir , was particularly impactful in developing this approach.

Today, couples counseling is available for married or unmarried people in all kinds of relationships. Counseling usually includes both partners, but there are occasions when a marriage counselor may work with only one person in a relationship. Counseling for individuals in a relationship might center on personal behaviors, reactions, and/or opportunities for growth.