My Approach to Helping
Do you think you may have experienced religious trauma? It can be hard to figure out if that term makes sense for you. Maybe you have trouble pointing to specific examples of how growing up in a high-demand church was harmful to you. But you still know that you're still affected by what you experienced, even now as an adult, even if you are no longer religious.
Do you find yourself struggling to trust other people or authority figures? Have you always had trouble connecting to people from the "real world" due to being sheltered as a child? Are you always vigilant and afraid of getting into trouble?
These types of problems can affect your romantic relationships. Perhaps it's hard to communicate complicated feelings like anger to your partner. Maybe sex was such a taboo topic growing up that you don't know how to engage in that part of your life, especially with someone else.
You may also struggle to connect with family members as a result of your new feelings about religion. Maybe they know where you stand, and that makes things awkward. Or, maybe you're keeping your spiritual identity (or lack thereof) a secret from them.
I can describe all these issues because I've experienced them myself. I grew up in a small Adventist community and was homeschooled through most of elementary school. Transitioning to public school was traumatic and resulted in several years of depression and aimlessness in my life. Not everyone understands what these experiences are like, but I do. Also, unlike many other therapists who specialize in religious trauma, I work from an agnosticsecular viewpoint, rather than a religious one. I also get how important that is for a lot of folx who need to be able to trust whoever they choose to work with.
I've found a great amount of healing from these issues, and I think you can too. My healing has largely come from using the approach of Internal Family Systems (IFS), or "parts work." This is the approach I use with clients. Through IFS, you'll learn to recognize the different parts of yourself - for example, the part of you that wants to have nothing to do with church, and the part that still values the community you've left behind. These parts often are in conflict, which creates internal stress, anxiety, and depression. IFS helps you to learn how to hold all the different parts of you at once, which is something religion often discourages. You can start to find peace and acceptance, as well as a way to navigate through the complexities of your own beliefs, feelings, relationships, and memories.
If you'd like to learn more or schedule a free consultation, check out my website at www.bjonescounseling.com.