My Approach to Helping
I specialize in helping couples and individuals with relational struggles, addictions, trauma and low self-esteem. My focus and passion for many years has been to help individuals develop fulfilling and intimate relationships. over 60% of my caseload the past 10 years has been devoted to this cause. I’m also a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) specifically trained to guide those struggling with this addiction in the steps to find sobriety, as well as helping their partners grieve the betrayal of trust they’ve experienced and find healing. With both partners working towards their own unique recovery, I also help couples work towards the repair and restoration of their relationship. Additionally, I am a Certified Multiple Addictions Therapist (CMAT), and am Level 4 trained in Emotional Transformational Therapy (ETT) for trauma & anxiety. Self-esteem often plays an important role in the work I do, identifying negative self-talk and exploring the origins of false narratives.
It's important to realize that relationships often don’t fail overnight. Instead it’s a slow fade. Good marriages don’t just happen. Healthy relationships must learn to navigate conflict, manage communication, recognize personal "baggage", demonstrate empathy, develop healthy coping mechanisms, explore intimacy, express emotions ... and that list is hardly exhaustive. Good relationships require intentionality and work. But when the investment is there, they can be magical. Finding that magic is what I love to do.
I have always believed that there are 3 essential elements necessary for me to be an effective therapist: being genuine in session, having unconditional positive regard for my clients and extending empathetic understanding. A guy named Carl Rogers built Person Centered Therapy in the 70s on those three tenets, so I feel that’s a pretty solid place to start. I'm in the business of helping clients restore relationships, sobriety, freedom and identity. I believe in the power of encouragement, empathy and wisdom, with appropriate doses of humor. We'll examine the struggle, dive below the surface to identify and address contributing factors, and employ proven strategies that fit you and your situation. What's important for you to know about me? First, I am an encourager. Second, I believe therapy should involve humor and laughter when appropriate. Third, I've earned my grey hair - I've become a "wise old man" from a long life of bumps and bruises. Lastly, I'm real, honest and relatable.
More Info About My Practice
I’ve been working with couples and individuals for over 10 years to help them experience change, find relief and live a more fulfilling life. I’m passionate about change, real change - the kind of change that lasts a lifetime. I believe that hope and support are essential ingredients to the change process. When combined with proven and effective strategies, many people I’ve worked with have found the kind of change I’m talking about.
How I can help...
If your relationship is struggling and in need of healing
If communication with your partner is frustrating or painful
If you are lost in or trying to recover from sexual addiction
If your life feels overwhelming and filled with discouragement
If you personally feel worthless, unwanted or unlovable
If you find the Internet or gaming consuming your life
If you cannot shake the trauma you’ve experienced
If you are seeking to improve communication in your family
Please note that I work via telehealth only. The far majority of clients who were on the fence about working remotely but were willing to try it expressed feeling it was equal to meeting in person. So, if you are unsure about meeting online I encourage you to setup a free consultation to gauge if the experience is beneficial for you.
I do not accept insurance. If you wish, I can provide you a "superbill" which is an invoice with the appropriate codes and information the insurance company needs to accept an out-of-network claim. Many insurance companies will provide some level of reimbursement for visits to out of network providers.
Specific Issue(s) I'm Skilled at Helping With
My primary areas specialty are:
RelationshipMarriage Counseling, which includes addressing communication and conflict issues, determining the continuation of a relationship (Discernment Counseling), attempts to rescue a marriage from divorce, and recovery from infidelity and sexual addiction.
Recovery from sexual addiction for both the individual and their partner. I am a Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist (CSAT) and am trained in the Early Recovery Couples Empathy Model (ERCEM).
Individuals who are struggling with anxiety and depression by utilizing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT), Attachment Therapy and modalities to provide effective tools and strategies for combating this pervasive struggle.
How Psychotherapy Can Help
Therapy is about learning to live a more fulfilling and rewarding life. There's no magic fairy dust that eliminates the challenges we have faced or will continue to face. But we can add fuel to the fire with the fears we feed and the stories we tell ourselves. Learning how to recognize and address our struggles, to make healthier choices, to find peace despite turmoil - this is how we find more to this life. Not because we escape the difficulties, but because we have the tools to weather the storms.
What I Love about Being a Psychotherapist
I'm passionate about helping couples and individuals find freedom, hope and healing. I love coming along side people in their journey and providing encouragement, insights and wisdom. Sometimes we need someone to step in and be hope when it's hard for us to see it, or sew value into us when we can't see it in ourselves. Sometimes we need someone to remind us of how capable and strong we are because we feel so defeated. And sometimes we need to hear a tough word delivered from an empathetic and supportive person. These are all things I love to impart to my clients, both couples and individuals alike. Life is hard - I think we could all use an ally along these rocky roads we travel.
Had a Negative Therapy Experience?
You wouldn't be the first person I've worked with this kind of story. Coming to therapy takes courage! Like everyone else who comes to counseling, you are looking for hope. Hope is a precious commodity and sometimes it is in short supply. Putting your trust in a therapist to help requires placing hope in them. I am so sorry that you've been let down and lost that deposit of trust and hope. But the fact that you are still seeking means you still recognize a need in your life. I know it's a scary, but I encourage you to continue on the journey. Part of the reason I advise anyone considering working with me to meet for a free consultations is because extending trust to someone is a big deal and I want them to see me, ask questions and gauge if I'm the right fit for their trust. I would absolutely welcome working with you, but its more important that you find what you need rather than work with me if I'm not the right fit.
How My Own Struggles Made Me a Better Therapist
My own struggles have motivated me to pursue this line of work. In my many years I've experienced numerous hurts, disappointments, losses, failures and mistakes. I relate to falling down and I'm excited to stand with my clients as they learn to stand back up. Were it not for those setbacks I wouldn't be the person I am today, and I needed every supporter, ally and wise word I received along the way. The wounds and scars I've endured and inflicted throughout my life do not define me, nor do yours define you. I'm thankful that I've fallen down because of how much I've learned and grown in the process of standing back up. I'm a better man, husband, father, friend and therapist due to the fires I've endured. And it is because of that journey that I now have the privilege of helping others.
