My Approach to Helping
A relationship in which one partner is autistic and the other is neurotypical can be lonely for both partners. You can feel isolated and hurt, which often leads to a fear that nothing can ever change for the better.
As a specialist in working online with neurodiverse couples, I offer you a unique understanding of the dilemmas and challenges encountered by each of you. You can learn to identify the differences between you and understand the effects of these differences. Our work together includes creating strategies for effective communication in a blame-free environment where you can begin to show compassion not only to your partner but to yourself.
If you have children, we can include parenting concerns. Often, a parent begins to see autism in himselfherself only after one of the children has been diagnosed. Family considerations are key to our work together.
Sometimes, couples are confused about their relationship goals: one partner wants to leave and the other wants to stay. Individually, we will look at each partner's hopes, dreams, and needs, and then come together to see what is possible. Our work includes a frank assessment of the difficulties and the rewards involved in this unique relationship. I will support you with education and skills development along the way.
If you choose to work with me, we will focus on your specific concerns and issues as they arise. I will offer you supportive education and strategies as we look at your lives together. My role is slightly different than you may be accustomed to if you have worked with a therapist previously because of the additional emphasis on clinical education.
My goal is to be certain you understand the neurodiverse relationship in terms of what can change and what cannot change so that you move in directions that are productive, while offering you suggestions for communication skills and strategies. I help partners understand their own way of being in the world and their partner's, as well as how to create news ways of communicating that can lead to a stronger relationship and increased intimacy.
Please contact me by email. I am not able to return phone calls.
More Info About My Practice
Neurodiverse couples face unique challenges, many of which are misunderstood or overlooked in traditional methods of counseling. Please don't give up because you have had an unsuccessful experience with counseling in the past. Most couple counseling techniques are emotion-focused and insight-based. These are two areas of divergence for neurodiverse couples, and they favor the perspective and orientation of the neurotypical partner. My approach includes acknowledgment of these differences and a goal of helping you understand them as well.
A large part of our work together includes education about autism and also about the neurotypical experience, and how the relationship is shaped by these differences.
If you discern during our work that it might be better to go your separate ways, we can work together on creating a new path. There are more options to consider than marriage as you currently experience it and divorce.
My clients and I work online with a video chat platform created specifically for telemedicine. Depending on where you live, we form a counseling (Washington state) or coaching relationship (everywhere else). There is overlap in these two practices but they are different. You can find a full exploration of the distinctions on my website.
Specific Issue(s) I'm Skilled at Helping With
I work with neurodiverse couples - autistic + neurotypical partners - and also with individuals in these relationships. As a member of Mensa, my second area of clinical expertise is supporting the complexity of high intelligence. Often, these two specialties merge in the couples with whom I work.
How Psychotherapy Can Help
My practice is unique and highly specialized. Together, we can work to help you understand your unique issues and replace them with strategies for communication behaviors that help you feel better about yourself and your relationship. Please visit my website TheNeurodiverseCouple.com for extensive information about my practice. I work exclusively online. International clients are welcome. I work primarily in English and also in Italian and German.
On the Fence About Going to Therapy?
Many neurodiverse couples have had negative experience even with highly skilled counselors and therapists. This is because most couple therapy modalities have been developed by neurotypical clinicians and are effective for neurotypical couples, and because our education and training as therapists lack emphasis on the unique qualities of the neurodiverse relationship. Traditional couple counseling relies on the ability of both partners to reflect on their interior lives and to articulate their experience. This is often a great challenge for autistic individuals within the context of a conventional couple session. My work with couples acknowledges and accommodates these differences at the outset so that both partners feel heard. However, if you're not ready to work with me, I have developed a series of courses that are available online that you might find interesting and useful. They include sound clinical information about neurodiversity as well as strategies and skills geared toward improving your communication now. You can find the courses at my teaching website, TheNeurodiverseCouple.thinkific.com, which is also linked from my website above. Previews of the courses are available on my YouTube Channel, The Neurodiverse Couple.
Had a Negative Therapy Experience?
I created "The Neurodiverse Couple" on Substack. Here you will find articles, tips, reliable resources, and my podcast covering issues pertaining to neurodiversity in intimate relationships. You can subscribe to get articles delivered straight to your inbox weekly. Paid subscriptions will include access to group seminars and discussions. Details can be found on my professional website under the tab called Subscription Service. The direct address to the substack is https:sarahswensonlmhc.substack.com
Why Going to Therapy Does Not Mean You are Weak or Flawed
We seek coaching for our tennis game. We learn new languages from tutors. We explore our challenges with counselors. It is perfectly healthy to seek professional support when you want to understand something better than you do at the moment.
If you're neurotypical partner and your partner is or may be autistic, you may find support in the series of articles I write just for you, which you will find here: SarahSwensonLMHC.substack.com You may subscribe to have weekly articles sent directly to your inbox and the opportunity to join group discussions on topics specific to your neurodiverse relationship. It's all right to get support for your own unique needs. It means you care about your personal growth, just as it does when you work with your tennis coach.
The Duration and Frequency of Therapy
My approach centers on helping you to understand yourselves and your relationship, and on helping you develop more effective communication so that you are not reliant upon counseling indefinitely. We take your goals, schedules, and budget into considation before we chart our course for working together.
Please contact my by email if you are interested in being on the wait list for services. I am not able to return phone calls.
